Figurski at Findhorn on Acid

119
How we tested toilets

We fed our panel of expert crappers sausages and beans for two weeks and then let them do their worst. The specially-constructed heads in our laboratory lavatory [see diagram] were outfitted with sophisticated monitoring devices and United Federation of Planets technologies, stacks of back issues of our annual Buying Guide, and a mild electric shock mechanism hooked to a timer in order to limit reading. We measured waste volume and consistency, paper use (we supplied recycled double-ply paper, and plenty of it), and flushing efficiency. Trained smellers, recruited from the CR staff and nearby shopping malls, entered the chamber following each trial and completed a standard Likert Odor Scale analysis. Hear their entertaining anecdotal impressions in streaming audio at our website.

— “Low-Flow Toilets: Are All Created Equally?” (Consumer Reports Special Digestion Issue, December 1999)

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