Figurski at Findhorn on Acid


The Mystery of the Glass Coffin
Wuh jata!

"Wuh jata!" cried Nancy.

"What's that?" asked Bess.

"It means, 'There he goes!'" explained Nancy Drew, titian-haired girl detective. "It's the cry made during the sport of pigsticking, when a boar is sighted. I think I just saw a pig in the crowd!"

"Could it be Rosellini's 1737 mechanical pig?" George guessed Nancy's meaning. "Or else — "

"Or else van Gelderschott's 1884 forgery," Nancy completed George's sentence. Nancy had solved many mysteries together with Bess Marvin and George Fayne. Bess was a fat blonde. George, a dykishly attractive brunette with a boy's name, was being portrayed on the Holodeck by Vietnamese-born Nguyen Van Tho; Nancy herself was being played by French-Moroccan Fatima Michelle Vieuchanger, a journalist of many disguises.

You can look in vain through dozens of the Nancy Drew Mystery Series for a semicolon like the one in that last sentence. All kinds of crazy shit can happen on the Holodeck!

The three girls had traveled to Calcutta for the funeral of Mother Theresa, who had died only a week after Princess Diana of Great Britain, whose funeral they'd watched on TV after dropping acid in a previous mystery, The Secret of the Old Cock. Now, they were lined up with thousands of others in 95-degree temperatures outside St. Thomas Catholic Church for a chance to see and touch Mother Theresa's glass coffin. The diminutive Albanian-born nun had devoted her life to the homeless, Hindoo underclass of Calcutta.

"Mother Theresa was called 'The Saint of the Sewers,'" said Bess. "She said, 'We can do no great things, only small things with great love.'"

"She also said that condoms and abortion are against the law of God," added George.

"I only saw the pig for a moment," Nancy said. "A pale man in a suit and tie appeared to be chasing it."

Finally, they passed through the huge wooden doors of the church and could see Mother Theresa's body laid out in a white cotton sari and longsleeved blouse. Bouquets of white and yellow roses filled the room, their petals rustled by fans. As the girls moved closer, they saw her tiny, brown, wrinkled bare feet pointed toward the altar.

George stopped and grabbed Nancy's arm with sudden fright. "Her feet," she whispered. "They're moving!"

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