Figurski at Findhorn on Acid


[Figurski has one pig by the snout and the other by the tail; Nguyen has the opposite end of each pig between his arms and ribs. They struggle. Let's review:

Pig 1
• originated mysteriously (dropped out of sky? washed up from submarine? etc.) in a wooden crate
• was uncovered in December 1993 by Frank Figurski in sandy area near Findhorn, used in a bizarre scatological performance with Spam, then discarded with other stage props
• was discovered by Algerian terrorist "Tanya," then spotted boarding train in Inverness, in January 1994, then apparently whisked off to Casablanca wearing Spam boxer shorts
• was recovered by Frank Figurski from fat woman reading The New Yorker at Shower-Lourdes, Florida, in February 1994
• was returned to Findhorn in Frank Figurski's duffel and encounters Pig 2, August 1997.

Pig 2
• c. 1960s, was the valued though likely illegitimate possession of a Palm Beach organized crime family
• was finagled away from a Mafia compound by someone claiming to be the spurned girlfriend of a Yakusa kingpin in December, 1993
• was retaken by a shadowy figure at a Florida religious shrine from the car trunk of tourist "Mr. Goldberg"
• perhaps activated accidentally, swam up inland waterway then waddled ashore and got scooped up by Nguyen Van Tho during a medical study of phantom limb syndrome following LSD ingestion in January 1994
• was sealed, crated, and buried below a closet in a Findhorn, Scotland, guest trailer by Nguyen Van Tho in February 1994
• got rescued during Findhorn trailer demolition by Nguyen Van Tho and encounters Pig 1, August 1997.]

Frank: Gimme that!

Tho: Gimme that!

[Lights out.]

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